Cancer McCancersons post: This is NUTS.

I've been all about the numbers today:

Dollar amount I spent at Target today, buying things to last the next six weeks or so:

Almost three hundred.

Number of people who get polymorphous adenocarcinoma every year (generously):


Number of people hit by lightning every year:


Number of people killed by hippopotamuses/i every year:

More than 11,000, or about 33 a day.

Amount I've spent on this cancer so far that hasn't been covered by insurance:

Roughly six grand. (Thank God for a high credit limit. Please don't drop it, Citibank. I'll pay. I swear.) (And how the hell do you do this if you don't have insurance? Starve? It's not like you can get free prosthodontics at County General. This is crazy.) (I mean, I know a universal health care system can't cover everything, but for cryin' out loud: just doing the preliminary dental Xrays on this bastard cost me well over $300. I got one single stinking pano and a couple of side shots.) (That's scary. I really hope I don't lose my health insurance now. I would never get insured again, even with the new rules covering preexisting conditions. They'd find something.)

Number of people over the age of 65 hospitalized for a non-fatal fall in 2006 (US only):


Number of hip fractures resulting from falls in 2006:

More than a thousand A DAY.

Current population of the US:

307,000,000 (roughly).

Number of people who will get any sort of salivary gland cancer this year:

36,000 (roughly).

Number of horizontally-impacted wisdom teeth I will have to have removed during surgery:


Amount of distress it caused my prosthodontist to discover that I was not, as he had thought, perfect:


Number of pounds I've put on--on purpose--since diagnosis:


Number of pounds I can expect to lose if I have radiation treatment:


Number of inches a G-tube would have to be to go into my belleh and stay:

The minimum, about eight. Maybe nine.

Number of radiological tests I will get on Monday:


Number of lymph nodes they will biopsy then:

One. I hope.

Number of positive results I hope I get: