2. If Grandma is sleeping in the back of your unairconditioned beater, don't roll up all the windows and lock all the doors and leave her there while you go in to the Wal-Mart for your weekly shopping. If you're going to do that, at least make sure it's not ninety-some-odd degrees out.
3. If I'm working on your wife, who's been trying to die for a good long while except that you keep insisting she be brought back, don't mumble (as I'm pushing succs and eto and versed) "They nearly killt her at Yeehawton General, they nearly killt her here..."
I might, in the stress of the moment, almost break out in giggles as I finish your sentence: "...they nearly killt her on the beaches; they nearly killt her in the streets; she shall NEVAH SURRENDAH!!" in my mind. That would be awkward.
4. The time to stick your head in the door and ask cheerfully if I want a flu shot is not as I'm busily coding the above person.
5. If your extremely aged long-term-care facility resident takes a sudden turn for the worse, please call report to me before she shows up. Or, failing that, at least check for a urinary tract infection before you transport her. It'd probably be obvious what the problem is once you do an in-and-out cath and are rewarded with urine the color and consistency of slightly thinned lemon yogurt. (Sorry, yogurt fans.) Or, failing *that*, make sure she's breathing when she leaves. It'll save the EMT guys a whole lot of trouble.
Thank you, and goodnight.