The Quotable Keith (also, weather update)

We are fine here in Littleton. Bigton has hellish flooding, as do Houston and Dallas, but we in the sticks are far enough uphill of everything that we're not getting washed away. Thanks to everybody for the good wishes; I have purchased a teeny canoe for the cats and have outfitted the dog in a diving suit with one of those round windows in the helmet.

And now, what you've all been waiting for. . . .

Keith, CNRN, PCCN, CSRN, CCRN: "Why would a patient with Hashimoto's encephalopathy be on a neurological unit, rather than on med-surg, seen by endocrinology?"

Keith, CNRN, PCCN, CSRN, CCRN: "I've never understood why myesthenia gravis patients and people with Guillain-Barre came to a pulmonary unit."

Keith, Expert On Weather: "What we need is about five more feet of rain. Then we won't be in a drought for, like, years."

Keith, Arbiter of All Things Religious: "Josh Duggar was just curious. It's not like touching his sisters was molesting them."

Keith, Man of Men and Understander of Wimminfolk: "What women need is a good home and family. It's why feminists are always so angry."

Thank you. Thank you all. Good night.