Bonus Post: the second most misunderstood post ever, plus what I'm thankful for...

Please note, emailers and posters, that I didn't mention word one about going low-carb in connection with bison meat. I buy red meat maybe three times a year, and this time I decided to try bison loaf rather than beef loaf. I'm more concerned about hormones and weird finishing-lot stuff than anything else. I've seen feedlots. They're not cute.

Also, emailers and posters, please note that I didn't say that Der Alter Jo's boyfriend was *my* boyfriend. To wit:

1. Der Alter Jo is a different person.

2. Her boyfriend, RatBoy ("Wait, Wait: Don't Tell Me" reference) does not eat beef.

3. My boyfriend doesn't eat beef either, but that's because

4. HE DOESN'T EXIST. I HAVE NO BOYFRIEND.

Y'all just take a pill. Please. I didn't bury the lead. Penny, put down the rice. Mom, don't panic. Thank you.

Also, I am very thankful to have the sort of friend in Der Alter Jo whom I can text as I'm watching Sherlock Holmes episodes and say, "Seeing Counsellor Troi in 'The Sixth Napoleon' is just weird" and have it make sense. I swear, if Alter Jo started following fashion blogs, we'd be the same damn person.

She gave me a Kindle, which was akin to giving Iggy Pop a fresh needle and a bottle of bleach. She sent me a box of Archie McPhee stuff to hand out to visitors while I was in bed hopped up on Dilaudid. But the most valuable thing D.A.J does, besides being a totally-trustworthy, kickass nurse? Is be as nerdy as I am.

Well, that and keep tea in her bag at work. That's good, too.